peacema(i)ker

…

do you also get stomach ache once in a while when you go through the days’ news, newspapers and headlines. Do you also get visited by this weird feeling of standing outside the world once you sit down on your sofa and reflect, really think through for a moment, what is going on all around, out there?

I do.

And most of the time this feeling goes away again because a glimpse of  hope catches my eyes, a melody of joy catches up with me again and takes me back into this world, we all call our home.

But the stomach ache keeps coming back and whenever it does, I start wondering, questioning: is this home, this world? My home, anybody’s home? Now, I am not about to throw myself and my thoughts into a philosophical journey to find a definition for home. I might do that some other time. “Home is where your heart’s at” goes a colloquial saying. Home is where your heart is. Isn’t it striking that common sense has often provided the most profound wisdom? Home is where your heart is; and that’s where my stomach starts aching again and suddenly I feel my Self being pulled away from this world. Outside I stand, wondering: is this where my heart is? Is this where anybody’s heart’s at?

And the truth is: No! And this truth is told in these lines of a song I quoted in an earlier blogg:

“One may think we’re alright
But we need pills to sleep at night
We need lies to make it through the day
We’re not okay

One may think we’re alright
But we need pills to sleep at night
We need lies to make it through the day
We’re not okay…”

I am looking at this world and as I look these lines occur in my head and as I stand, looking, observing, their volume increases; the song is getting louder. And so I stand, a little bit outside, looking at this place that we should be able to call home, and as I look, another person steps next to me, also checking, and then another one gazing and another one and yet, another one. “We need lies to make it through the day. We’re not okay…” They are mouthing the lyrics. And the song in my head is getting louder. And so is my stomach ache.

I felt this stomach ache today.

You know, were are really not okay. And many people know it, feel it in their stomachs, too, when they find time to be distanced and observe what’s going on. However, we all never know this truth together at the same time and thus it fades away, the truth, like a melody – only true for those who hear it, only true as long as its last tone vibrates. And then it’s gone.

But it isn’t. It’s vibration is in the universe, it is shaking someone else’s ear, somewhere. But if we don’t hear it together, we can’t know it together. Therefore do we keep losing this feeling, the thorough insight that we are not okay in our home.

I mean, capitalism is not working. And I am not speaking the word for a communist revolution, because real existing communism didn’t work either. The only difference between the two economic systems is that we cannot see an alternative to capitalism right now, so we can’t have it fail. But the truth is that the way market economy works, competition in all corners of society, does not work for us. It does not create a home. Some of us know that there are better ways to organize human life’s economic dimension. They, too, have stomach ache and stand a bit outside this world that we should be able to call home. But we can’t. We’re not okay. A major financial crisis shook every corner of our home, with severe impact on the life of billions of people. Already in the way we coin the term, one must see the problem: this crisis was no financial but a human crisis, where the climate is put in opposition to jobs, where different countries but each other in opposition and where workers with families or students with hopes pay the prices. And half a year later we see the same fatal behaviour again: power holders gambling away human values; ordinary people totally losing track of what’s necessary and what’s redundant. We are not okay!

Democracy – the best way of governing human societies for sure – is not okay either. Yesterday the EU gave itself two new top positions, or more precisely: it filled them with two persons. One might feel a need for discussing the persons but I want to point out the procedure: did anybody know the candidates? Did the candidates present themselves to someone, preferably the 500million who make this thing called EU? Did anybody know the demanded qualifications needed for getting the job? No “normal” job is offered like that. And the truth is that EU is just another example for the immense problems we have today with making democracy work. Even in a country like Sweden it matters a lot what family name you have when you enter a political party or search a top job in the ministries. The population is blinded by politicians who use hate speech like in Italy or the Netherlands. Populism of fear turning people against each other, who were neighbors; inventing problems instead of solving the existing ones (see financial crisis). Democracy doesn’t work because we seek power not improvement. So, the political level of EU and nations is just another example for the same thing going on in NGOs, even small ones. Even in UNICEF there is corruption. Even in organizations with the clear goal to make the world better you find abuse of power positions. We are not okay! We have not yet found a way to make it work that everybody can participate in society’s issues, wants to participate and feels able to. This democracy we have is none in the face of the complexity of our world, the place we should be able to call home.

Look at sports – a way for people to spend their time. It is industry sponsored and it destroys the people who engage in it on elite level. Football stars are taking pain killers on the pitch; swimmers, tennis players,cyclists, athletes in Basket and Baseball, long distance runners etc are using, abusing and often depending on drugs (in sports we call it doping). Not to metion the immense pressure of high hopes and expectations that causes fragile human psychies to break apart.  And it happens in other entertainment fields, too. We all know about fashion models and the beauty ideal that causes small girls not to eat or to puke; Hollywood, the industry of dreams, is producing stars that worship sect leaders. And we people make them, no matter their intellect, our leaders; we allow them to interprete the world for us. And in the mean time, while we are entertained and absorb the industry messages in the background (drink responsibly…) the industries are making deals for their benefit, not for the people’s, with our “representative” decision makers (see above “democracy”). Some days ago the association of hotels and restaurants in Germany made a deal with the new government of Germany to cut their tax on hotel and restaurant proceeds in half. Everybody knows, even all the experts do, that this will cost money. It will mean a loss of tax money of about 4billion €. Who will have to pay this? The kids and young people who can’t go to kindergarden, can’t afford class trips, can’t afford to study. The same group that will have to pay for the costs of the so called financial crisis, which is a human crisis much more.

We are not okay! We keep a system of betting on sports upright, make people and ourselves believe that we can install a controlling system and be ahead of criminals. Common sense already tells that it is impossible to predict the result of a football match – especially with things happening like Thierry Henry using his hand (in FOOTball) to get an advantage and blaming the responsibilty for the fuss on the referee. So, why is it even allowed in so many countries? It is like an invitation for corruption, bribes and mafia. Now there is another huge scandal coming up, involving many football leagues in Europe. What does all this tell about our sports – and all the other parts of our entertainment life? It is not okay! We need lies to make it through the day. We need pills to be able to sleep at night…

Pills is a key that must bring to attention other aspects of our home: more and more pupils and students in this world are using performance enhancing drugs to be able to reach good results at school, in university. More and more teachers have to use tranquilizers to cope with their jobs. Family dads have to use alcohol and so do family women. We live in an addicted world – which we are supposed to feel home in – and we don’t even realize it.  Only few do, standing a bit outside observing .

But what can you expect if you tell children from the very beginning that performance matters, resluts; that if you want a good job, you need good grades at school to be able to go to a good university, where you need to get even better grades to be able to get a degree and a PhD. This doctrine that we all seem to worship produces Thierry Henrys all over the world who use methods that are against the rules for an inch of an advantage, who gamble away in the feeling of invincibility (afterall, if you make it to a high position, you must be god…) alternativley the climate of the planet, jobs and futures of those (losers, who simply weren’t tough enough, good enough…) who just want to work to make ends meet for themselves and their families (why most of them invest the rare natural resource money into drugs like alcohol, tobacco instead of newspapers and books is yet a different riddle…). We worship this doctrine of ellbows, we do. And it causes pain in the head, pressure in the chest. Nowhere else in human history were there more depressed human beings. Never before, nowhere else. We are not okay!

We are not able to trust each other. The first day on earth for a baby is the first day of war. First it is a war of survival: me against the world – the place that should be called home. But then, sooner or later the world caves in. It teaches fear where joy should be in place; it teaches silence where candour should reign; it teaches humbleness where pride and happiness should dance; it teaches pride where understanding should reside; it teaches ellbows where hugs should be in place; it teaches ignoring where caring should dominate; it teaches agreeing where critical thinking should grow; and it preaches suspicion where trust should have its place.

Do you ever wonder how boys can grow up under the shelter of their mums and then, once they are “grown up” make sure that mummy stays home, with all her wisdom, love and experience, ironing shirts and washing the floor? Do you not wonder why we pay millions of euros to see the ideal coach, an idol coach who is wise and just, strict and compassionate, in a movie of 90 minutes instead of honoring the rare examples of such coaches in our neighborhood? My dad is not the greatest mind the football game has ever seen. He does not even know important new developments of coaching. But he does his job with 10-year old kids four times a week, all year long, spending his own money rather than earning any and investing what he can give. And nobody cares – not even the parents. When I think about that, or about my teacher who really cared beyond the 90 minutes of class and beyond the teaching scheme, I feel the song in my head beating: We are not okay. We need lies to make it through the day.

This diagnosis that we need lies to make it through the day carries all the hope for me.  We are not okay in our home on so many levels. Some of them can be blamed on them “up there” on Washington, Berlin, Brussels, Stockholm. Many others can and must be blamed on the neighbor and team mate, on the friend, on the family member and, yes, on the Self. It is important that each and every one of us tries to make it through the day without lying, without bowing the truth a little, without hiding out behind what we believe is expected and demanded. Also this is lying not to be able to say that I did great today.

There is no brighter glimpse of hope than a solitary manifestation of truth. And when we engage in this, we can take a moment and step back from the world, take a step outside and just look. Maybe we do then realize that we are not alone standing at the side, outside. And so we can start singing the melody together and make it true for each other. For, there is no greater glimpse of hope than being true together.

Truth can be expressed in solitude. But a home can only be built together!

(from projectofhope.wordpress.com)